Category Archives: Adoption

Articles on adoption

Some links and notes for May 8, 2018

A few links form around the web. Make of it what you will.

“Here’s the ugly truth: most Americans who are victims of sex trafficking come from our nation’s own foster care system. It’s a deeply broken system that leaves thousands vulnerable to pimps as children and grooms them for the illegal sex trade as young adults.”

“No child should have to face that. And yet, on May 3, 2018, lawmakers in my home state of Oklahoma voted to make it harder for foster children to find a loving family by allowing child-placing agencies that receive state and federal dollars, to put their beliefs ahead of the best interests of those children”

Continue reading Some links and notes for May 8, 2018

About Derrick Peavy

Sometimes entrepreneur. Former foster. Derrick Peavy is one of the millions of former foster children, having livd in seven foster homes between 1976 and 1989. His final foster home was the right home and became his family. Follow Derrick on Twitter @SurvivingFoster or on Quora

Understanding Adoptee Behavior

The overwhelming number of adoptees, 85%, adjusts in ways that society regards as successful. (Kadushin, A.1980). The remaining 15% require intervention by therapists and counselors. Those that adjust successfully may still have serious concerns resulting from the adoption process that are in need of a resolution. The absence of a disorder or dysfunction is not an indicator of one who is achieving optimum development. Since creating the best developmental setting for children is the goal of parenting I am going to explore the causes and goals of adoptee behaviors. I believe that understanding why adoptees behave is the key to creating the best opportunity for them to develop. It also leads the way to effective therapy.

Continue reading Understanding Adoptee Behavior

Robert Hafetz

About Robert Hafetz

Adoption & Foster Family Therapist. Robert Allan Hafetz was born Marvin Lee Klein on 01/28/1951 at the Door of Hope Boothe Home in Jersey City New Jersey. Robert began his career in mental health at Temple University Hospital acute unit, Horsham Clinic, Foundations Behavioral Health and Warwick House residential treatment centers. Robert was past president of Adoption Forum, and PA. State Representative for the American Adoption Congress. He is a member of New Jersey Care Action Committee testifying as an expert witness before the New Jersey Senate and assembly. Robert published his memoir Not Remembered Never Forgotten in 2005. And Battling With the Shadows was published in the peer reviewed International Journal of Trauma Research and Practice. Robert is the founder of Adoption Education & Family Counseling LLC offering education, counseling professional staff training, and family therapy exclusively to adoptive and foster families. Robert has developed a treatment protocal specifically for adoptees. Follow Robert on Twitter @roberthafetz or on Quora

Parenting the Adopted Child

There can be no more difficult a task in classic parenting than raising an adopted child. Unlike a child one has given birth to an adopted child comes with additional trepidations that few parents are prepared for or even aware of.

An adopted child comes to the family with memories of grief, a fear of attachment, and a feeling of indistinct loss. The first years often appear to be normal lulling the parents into a false sense of security. Then when the child reaches the age of approximately six years a more a complex self-exploration process begins. This is when the child notices that he doesn’t resemble his family while his peers look like theirs. This is also when the “who is my real mommy question” arises.
Continue reading Parenting the Adopted Child

Robert Hafetz

About Robert Hafetz

Adoption & Foster Family Therapist. Robert Allan Hafetz was born Marvin Lee Klein on 01/28/1951 at the Door of Hope Boothe Home in Jersey City New Jersey. Robert began his career in mental health at Temple University Hospital acute unit, Horsham Clinic, Foundations Behavioral Health and Warwick House residential treatment centers. Robert was past president of Adoption Forum, and PA. State Representative for the American Adoption Congress. He is a member of New Jersey Care Action Committee testifying as an expert witness before the New Jersey Senate and assembly. Robert published his memoir Not Remembered Never Forgotten in 2005. And Battling With the Shadows was published in the peer reviewed International Journal of Trauma Research and Practice. Robert is the founder of Adoption Education & Family Counseling LLC offering education, counseling professional staff training, and family therapy exclusively to adoptive and foster families. Robert has developed a treatment protocal specifically for adoptees. Follow Robert on Twitter @roberthafetz or on Quora

Implicit Memory and Adoption

Adopted children have implicit memory resulting from the adoption process. Placement in foster homes can add to these memories. Implicit memories are created by experiences that have enough emotional intensity to shape the child’s beliefs, expectations, behaviors and feelings about a specific event in their current lives. “How the child responds to a situation is not caused by circumstances but by viewing current circumstances through the lens of unconscious implicit memories. The projection of the past into the present.”( Ecker, 2011). The adopted child’s view of the adoptive family today is seen through the experience of implicit memory from the past.
Continue reading Implicit Memory and Adoption

Robert Hafetz

About Robert Hafetz

Adoption & Foster Family Therapist. Robert Allan Hafetz was born Marvin Lee Klein on 01/28/1951 at the Door of Hope Boothe Home in Jersey City New Jersey. Robert began his career in mental health at Temple University Hospital acute unit, Horsham Clinic, Foundations Behavioral Health and Warwick House residential treatment centers. Robert was past president of Adoption Forum, and PA. State Representative for the American Adoption Congress. He is a member of New Jersey Care Action Committee testifying as an expert witness before the New Jersey Senate and assembly. Robert published his memoir Not Remembered Never Forgotten in 2005. And Battling With the Shadows was published in the peer reviewed International Journal of Trauma Research and Practice. Robert is the founder of Adoption Education & Family Counseling LLC offering education, counseling professional staff training, and family therapy exclusively to adoptive and foster families. Robert has developed a treatment protocal specifically for adoptees. Follow Robert on Twitter @roberthafetz or on Quora