Some links and notes for May 8, 2018

A few links form around the web. Make of it what you will.

“Here’s the ugly truth: most Americans who are victims of sex trafficking come from our nation’s own foster care system. It’s a deeply broken system that leaves thousands vulnerable to pimps as children and grooms them for the illegal sex trade as young adults.”

“No child should have to face that. And yet, on May 3, 2018, lawmakers in my home state of Oklahoma voted to make it harder for foster children to find a loving family by allowing child-placing agencies that receive state and federal dollars, to put their beliefs ahead of the best interests of those children”

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Why end foster care?

Let’s play a game.

It’s a game you’ve played before.

It’s called “pretend.”

It’s a fun game where you can make all kinds of assumptions, wild arguments and create fantastical outcomes.

Let’s pretend the following…

You’re 13.  You’re in middle school,  seventh grade.  Your best friend is clearly having a bad day.  After lots and lots of annoying nagging from you she finally opens up – and breaks down.

Turns out, your best friend has been molested by her father for the last three years.  Her mother doesn’t know.  Her priest, priestess or minister or doesn’t know.  Nobody knows – except you and her.

What do you do?
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Understanding Adoptee Behavior

The overwhelming number of adoptees, 85%, adjusts in ways that society regards as successful. (Kadushin, A.1980). The remaining 15% require intervention by therapists and counselors. Those that adjust successfully may still have serious concerns resulting from the adoption process that are in need of a resolution. The absence of a disorder or dysfunction is not an indicator of one who is achieving optimum development. Since creating the best developmental setting for children is the goal of parenting I am going to explore the causes and goals of adoptee behaviors. I believe that understanding why adoptees behave is the key to creating the best opportunity for them to develop. It also leads the way to effective therapy.

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Parenting the Adopted Child

There can be no more difficult a task in classic parenting than raising an adopted child. Unlike a child one has given birth to an adopted child comes with additional trepidations that few parents are prepared for or even aware of.

An adopted child comes to the family with memories of grief, a fear of attachment, and a feeling of indistinct loss. The first years often appear to be normal lulling the parents into a false sense of security. Then when the child reaches the age of approximately six years a more a complex self-exploration process begins. This is when the child notices that he doesn’t resemble his family while his peers look like theirs. This is also when the “who is my real mommy question” arises.
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Inspiring Women Interview with Lara B. Sharp

Anj Handa is the Founder of Inspiring Women Changemakers. She teaches women how to speak up: for themselves, for others and for social issues. Recently she interviewed Lara B. Sharp, a writer and contributor to Surviving Foster Care. With permission we have republished most of the original interview found at Inspiring Women Changemakers

Anj: What prompted you to start sharing your experiences?

Lara: I’m writing a memoir about my childhood called ‘Do the Hustle’. I grew up in NYC, with an extremely eccentric, but oddly feminist mother, who had a drink and drugs problem. She also suffered from mental illness.
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